Life is Fandemonium

87,005 notes

counterpunches:

hetagarnet:

qichi:

linguisticsyall:

Where does your tongue stay when you’re not speaking? If you’re an English-speaker, it’s behind the top front teeth. If you’re a Russian-speaker, it’s on the bottom of your mouth, lying flat.

#what #for real

I JUST FREAKING CONSCIOUSLY CHECKED AND TRIED TO MAKE IT LAY FLAT BUT NO, IT’S SERIOUSLY AT THE TOP OF MY MOUTH. I DON’T LIKE THIS

 

(via satan-in-a-box)

47,520 notes

stephrc79:

adamantsteve:

God I bet..
I bet Sam fucking LOVES having guests. So he actually made a fucking massive breakfast for them, and he doesn’t know what these guys eat - Natasha’s tiny, so Sam makes a fruit salad, but then, maybe Steve (who’s huge) likes fruit salad too, so he ends up with a punchbowl full of fruit. But then also waffles and pancakes, and eggs… though who knows how these people eat their eggs? Sam likes scrambled, but he boils some just in case, and sets up a frying pan in case either of them wants fried. Better put some water on to boil in case someone wants poached…. While he has the eggs out, might as well make french toast. But then actually, Natasha’s european, right? They like that weird-ass continental breakfast shit, so he rolls up some little bits of ham and cheese, which looks weird without croissants and muffins and whatnot so he nips out to get some. And some juice. And some tea. And some hair straighteners.

And so Natasha eats a few bits of everything, but Steve… well Steve grew up during a time where you did not waste food - clearing your plate is ingrained in him, so. Yeah, he did have a big breakfast. He had all the breakfast.

And some hair straighteners.

(Source: mishasteaparty, via helen-is-elsewhere)

14,798 notes

agent-hils-coulson:

spuzz:

ittybittymanatee:

subtextsays:

This was the sneakiest blink-and-you’ll-miss-it shot.

Oooh the shield is next to the bed, bottom corner right, NICE ONE.

I’m just in love with the idea that you just KNOW so many fucking people volunteered to go look for it and dove into that water. That shield is so important, not only to the public but also to STEVE. I knew that it was in this scene but to have it confirmed and how it’s lovingly facing outward from his bed, at his side. It’s Sam, Steve and then the trusty shield.
I don’t care what anyone says THAT SHIELD HOLDS A PART OF STEVE’S SOUL.

This makes me very happy

agent-hils-coulson:

spuzz:

ittybittymanatee:

subtextsays:

This was the sneakiest blink-and-you’ll-miss-it shot.

Oooh the shield is next to the bed, bottom corner right, NICE ONE.

I’m just in love with the idea that you just KNOW so many fucking people volunteered to go look for it and dove into that water. That shield is so important, not only to the public but also to STEVE. I knew that it was in this scene but to have it confirmed and how it’s lovingly facing outward from his bed, at his side. It’s Sam, Steve and then the trusty shield.

I don’t care what anyone says THAT SHIELD HOLDS A PART OF STEVE’S SOUL.

This makes me very happy

(via wierdrocks)

162,337 notes

So Google does math for you??

my-little-mod-blog:

averagedopeydope:

uskftw:

all1sees:

division

image

square roots

image

dividing percentages

image

IT EVEN FOILS

image

beautiful.

i just checked ALL of these on my calculator and they are all correct

all. fucking. correct.

DAYUM, SON! IF ONLY THIS WAS AVIALABLE WHEN I WAS ON SCHOOL >:(

HAH! You kids. When I was in school, it wouldn’t help because we still used Roman numerals back then!

AHAHAHAHAHA-

image

oh my god

i’ll just be over here shutting the fuck up right about now

(via half-breed-spawn-of-lucifer)

106,603 notes

DC:
Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-
Marvel:
YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS
DC:
We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.
Marvel:
HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE
DC:
The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.
Marvel:
DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER
DC:
After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.
Marvel:
PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW
DC:
We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...
Marvel:
NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.
DC:
We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.
Marvel:
NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM
DC:
We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.
Marvel:
FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO
DC:
Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-
Marvel:
NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK
DC:
Wait-
Marvel:
NEW FEMALE THOR
DC:
I didn't-
Marvel:
NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
Marvel:
TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE
Marvel:
PEACE

987,739 notes

vardaesque:

saevuswinds:

vardaesque:

you don’t understand i would sell my firstborn to know how this story started

Well it all started when Mrs. Hayfer wanted me to babysit her dumb house. When I got the keys, I sat them on top of this pie that I found on the counter. I knew it was going to be given to the family for desert if I didn’t eat it soon, so I was going to plan to eat it in my teacher’s house and dump all the crumbs on her bed. So it’s a win-win, right? Besides, she wouldn’t find out about the crumbs until after I was paid, and this teacher hates me anyway. Then, I got distracted when this hot cheerleader calls me, asking about what movie I’d recommend, but before I could answer, I realize that my mom would be there any second to serve dinner, and there was no way I was sharing that pie. So I bust out of there with the pie and the keys, and the moment I get in the house, I start chowing down on the pie with my bare hands, trying to eat this thing before anyone knows I took it, right? Well, since the pie crust was dry, I chugged a 2-liter bottle of soda whenever my throat would get dry and eventually, I really needed “to go.” Only when I went to flush, the water wouldn’t stop flowing and there was no plunger to be found. Usually I’d just shrug and say it was Josh’s fault or something, but let’s get real here, Mrs. Hayfer would’ve blamed me about her toilet overflowing if I was 30 states away. So I jammed my foot in there, hoping it’d make the toilet stop flushing. Then my phone rings, and I knew it was my mom, asking where her pie went, and because Meghan decided it’d be a great idea to make my ring tone a bunch of cats meowing, Mrs. Hayfer’s dog, Tiberius starts freaking out, bashing into the door over and over again. Now anyone who knows this dog knows that this dog will happily eat anything, and that includes the pie, and probably myself.  So my foot’s totally stuck in there right, I’m freaking out and I still got half a pie left. 

BLESS YOU

vardaesque:

saevuswinds:

vardaesque:

you don’t understand i would sell my firstborn to know how this story started

Well it all started when Mrs. Hayfer wanted me to babysit her dumb house. When I got the keys, I sat them on top of this pie that I found on the counter. I knew it was going to be given to the family for desert if I didn’t eat it soon, so I was going to plan to eat it in my teacher’s house and dump all the crumbs on her bed. So it’s a win-win, right? Besides, she wouldn’t find out about the crumbs until after I was paid, and this teacher hates me anyway. Then, I got distracted when this hot cheerleader calls me, asking about what movie I’d recommend, but before I could answer, I realize that my mom would be there any second to serve dinner, and there was no way I was sharing that pie. So I bust out of there with the pie and the keys, and the moment I get in the house, I start chowing down on the pie with my bare hands, trying to eat this thing before anyone knows I took it, right? Well, since the pie crust was dry, I chugged a 2-liter bottle of soda whenever my throat would get dry and eventually, I really needed “to go.” Only when I went to flush, the water wouldn’t stop flowing and there was no plunger to be found. Usually I’d just shrug and say it was Josh’s fault or something, but let’s get real here, Mrs. Hayfer would’ve blamed me about her toilet overflowing if I was 30 states away. So I jammed my foot in there, hoping it’d make the toilet stop flushing. Then my phone rings, and I knew it was my mom, asking where her pie went, and because Meghan decided it’d be a great idea to make my ring tone a bunch of cats meowing, Mrs. Hayfer’s dog, Tiberius starts freaking out, bashing into the door over and over again. Now anyone who knows this dog knows that this dog will happily eat anything, and that includes the pie, and probably myself.  So my foot’s totally stuck in there right, I’m freaking out and I still got half a pie left. 

BLESS YOU

(Source: abadeerzs, via breakavector)

9,991 notes

space…the final frontier
these are the voyages of the starship Enterprise

her continuing mission:
to explore strange new worlds
to seek out new life and new civilizations
to boldly go where no one has gone before

(Source: quigonjesus, via stephadoo)